A Meditation on Fear (Ayashasa)
Ayashasa Todomi, 21st circle necromancer of the Brood of Kotiz, under the eye of The Faceless
Fear. What many softskins living their quiet lives across the world of Norrath don’t seem to realize (or would prefer not to), is that Fear is absolutely essential and a quintessential driving force in the vast majority of societies existing today. Lord Cazic Thule has had many nefarious deeds attributed to both him and the rest of the House of Thule; and if I’m speaking honestly, rightfully so. But many are quick to dismiss his more subtle and beneficial gifts… from the head of a sand giant peeking above the dunes to the ever-present threat of the gnolls of Blackburrow, it is Fear that drives us to preserve ourselves and our loved ones by fleeing to fight another day or bolstering the defenses of the town guard. Many societies have grown from the dark seed of fear planted in the collective subconscious of the populous. As a surviving member and historian of the Great Empire of Ik, I feel specially qualified to make such a statement, as the memory of our enslavement by the Shissar is both long in the past, and yet ever-present in our minds.
Of course, this is all easy to grasp from an objective and academic standpoint, but in practice… perhaps less so. Lately, I’ve been haunted by perplexing dreams and nightmares of lands and peoples that I’ve never personally experienced. I know in my mind that these are gifts from others in the House of Thule – Terris and Morell – but I would be lying if I said that these visions didn’t leave me somewhat rattled. I initially thought them simply to be a byproduct of studying far-off lands to great excess, but was astonished when I ventured out myself and found that these visions were more exact than I ever imagined. The warm rains in the Plains of Karana felt exactly the same in my dreams as they did as my scaled feet trod through the actual mud on that vast, fertile expanse.
And the people… well, I can’t talk about people without talking about her..
A thread which has followed me through many of my dreams is the presence of a small softskin woman named Tansy, wielding powers foreign to me that seem to be drawn from the very land around her. No matter my form in the dream, she greets me with warm familiarity that, truth be told, does not come naturally to me. So, honestly, I should not have been surprised when I wandered the eastern plains of Karana and found her there, almost as if waiting for me. This initial encounter, I admit, filled me with Cazic Thule’s gift, as I wasn’t sure what to expect from the situation. But, as was the case in all my dreams… she greeted me warmly. Unlike all the others, terrified of me for my scaled skin and obvious ties to the Empire of Ik.
Initial communication was a tad difficult. Her tongue was foreign to me, and mine hers. But sometimes, communication isn’t needed. Enormous crag spiders cresting the hill set both of our bodies in motion automatically; her ensnaring them to the ground with roots from the earth and channeling flame from a strange eye in her backpack, and me sapping the life-force from the spider and inflicting terrible diseases with my necromantic arts. As our enemies continued to perish by our combined efforts, our words began to make more sense to each other. While I was initially insulted by her constantly calling me “filthy lizard”, I grew to understand that it was a term of endearment. After suggesting that she gather as many spider legs as she could to grow taller, she let out a hearty guffaw which told me that we really began to understand each other.
This went on for some time, but I didn’t begin to feel a sense of purpose with her until we journeyed together into the southern portion of the plains to begin hunting the bird-men. While many of our foes we had faced up until that point were unthinking creatures, these aviaks possessed a canny intellect that rivaled that of our own. As the flames licked the underside of their raised village from her evocations, I wondered… how did these aviaks feel? And it all suddenly clicked. Though she worshiped Karana, the Raincaller, with every aviak that fell, I felt the terrified gaze of their compatriots following us. Were we coming for them next? What should they do? What could they do?
To wrap up this entry, I return to the beginning: Fear. More than just my deity, fear is a primal force which grips all living things. When the lowly rat flees from you as you attempt to deal a mortal blow. When parents tell their children cautionary tales to impart grave lessons. Or when aviaks gaze terrified as their brethren are cut down by a couple of strange interlopers from foreign lands. Though often perceived as ugly, Fear is ultimately a gift. It tells us that our lives are worth living. It inspires us to be better so we can better defend ourselves. And overcoming it… can fill us with rich and rewarding experiences that we may not otherwise have had, which are made all the sweeter by overcoming that initial inclination.
Bah, I may be rambling on far too long, for the hour grows late and my eyelids grow heavy. I fear I may fall asleep at my desk if I keep this up for much longer… get it? Fear? Oh Faceless, she’s rubbing off on me.
-Ayashasa
