Confusion.

Why is everyone so loud? I’ve found a quiet corner at last, in the shade of a tree near nothing of interest to the other trainees, and I’m attempting to gather and record my thoughts and impressions. Once I can locate them, that is. My mind, normally such a tidy place, feels like a shattered stained-glass window that I am reassembling piece by piece.

I hope I shall get better accustomed to this frenetic pace, this noise… because I have a sinking feeling that this is simply how the rest of Norrath’s races relate to one another on a daily basis. Though their language is rougher than I am used to, it does not take a keen mind to realize that they are trying to be friendly. One trainee ran up so close to me so suddenly that I was certain she was going to attack… but instead she simply hailed me and looked me over from head to toe as though she had never seen an Erudite before. Then she smiled and ran away to continue her training before I even had the time to string together a coherent greeting.

I shall adjust. Surely I shall. I must.

I cannot help but note the irony that my arcane specialty is illusion, spells that affect and disorder the mind. I feel as though some illusionist much more powerful than I is having a go at my mind, making everything around me seem to move at thrice the speed I am, making every color brighter, every sound more shrill. My hope is that a moment’s respite will re-order my thoughts and allow me to continue my training.

Luckily my progress here is entirely self-paced. I have decided that I ought to stay on this island until I feel entirely comfortable with the level of noise and activity here. Here, at least, there are guards and trainers and other watchful eyes making certain that none of us wade in over our heads (literally or figuratively - we are surrounded by ocean after all, and that ocean is full of sharks). Once I leave the island I will be turned loose into much more perilous wilderness in my service to the great city of Qeynos, and I cannot afford to be sidelined by anxiety or bewilderment.

For now, deep, slow breaths, and prayers to Quellious. Then, back to work.